Light Along The Road

Is it Us?

2009-12-07T07:45:00.000-08:00

I just received an e-mail that really sparked some thoughts in my head! I am going to give the URL of the web page below and it will open in a separate window so you can look at it and then switch back here to post a comment on my comment.

What you are going to see is a mind-boggling array of famous Black men romantically linked to non Black women. I mean mind-boggling!

Now in my youth I was typical of Black women who cringe and are bothered by seeing a Black man with a non-Black woman. As I began to grow in spirit, I tried to examine just exactly what bothered me about the situation. The obvious reason seemed to be that the White woman has been ingrained in our culture as the highest standard of beauty. For many years, successful Black men sought to be with White women as a measure of their success.

I do think though that this situation has changed over the years. I believe that our culture has evolved to the point where Black and non-White women are far more appreciated than we were in the past. And because I do know that God is color-blind, I found myself no longer automatically offended by the sight of an interracial couple. I learned to give each man the benefit of the doubt by recognizing the possibility that he may well have simply fallen in love with this particular woman and not purposely sought to be with someone not of his race because his taste ran outside of the female side of himself. I realized that those Brothers who were seeing White women as the ultimate standard of beauty had not yet evolved to the point of loving their mothers, their sisters and themselves.

Seeing this photo gallery has made me question whether or not our standards truly have changed. Perhaps this was just wishful thinking on my part?

Or is it that we as Black women are driving our men away by our attitudes and expectations? It has always been said in the Black community that one of the primary reasons Black men gravitate to White and Asian women is because they are more compliant. Do we Sistahs need to evaluate how we relate to our men? Are we strong enough to consider the possibility that it just might be us?

I'd love to know what other Sistahs think.

Check out the gallery

A Fork in the Road

2009-10-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

Recently a dear friend informed me that they are facing a serious illness. The news hit me pretty hard, but I wanted to push past my own reaction to this possibility and what it might mean to me, and say something that would be of comfort to my friend, so here goes.

In removing emotion from the issue and looking at it from the prospect of Life's journey, news like this represents a fork in the road. One road leads through a series of challenges, both physical and emotional and ends at a place of recovery and renewal - with the opportunity to continue down the road a bit longer. The other road, of course, leads past all the places one has journeyed, toward a place of closure - an opportunity to move forward to the next plane of existence.

Needless to say, which road one would choose to go down. But in this case, the choice is not up to us. The choice has in fact, already been made by Spirit; Ego must now wait to see which road has been mapped out.

But having said all this, I think the most important task is to remember that God's plan is perfect. It is times like these that remind us how precious our life journey is. It is so easy to spend this time worrying that you won't get to go down the road you choose. How much more important to use this time to glory in each day, in each experience, in each relationship! How wonderful the world would be if we all lived each day as if it were our last.

Peace, and blessings, my friend. Know that choosing to focus on life now is an important gift to all who will face what you are facing. I choose recovery and renewal for you. I will affirm it each and every day. And if it be God's will, this is the road you will take. But whatever the path, look inside for the peace that comes from living in the NOW. Let this peace be your companion on your journey.

Judgement 101

2009-06-17T07:12:00.001-07:00

Ever notice how hard it is to give other people the right to be wrong?

Once we decide that we are right about something, we immediately launch a campaign to prove our "rightness" and defeat the other person's foolish notion that they are right.

When judgement enters your mind in this form, it can reek havock on your relationships. I have found that life is so much easier when I don't insist that other people think I am right. Once you express your opinion and the other person expresses their conflicting one, ask yourself, "How important is being right in this situation to my life in general?" If it's a matter of the other person being harmed in some way, then OK, that's important. But so many times, our being right won't have any real impact on our lives, so why not just let it go.

I find that if I am right, it will be proven in time, and if I haven't made a big deal about it, then that gives the other person the freedom to say "You know what, you were right," without it being an admission of defeat after a battle.

Giving the other person the right to be wrong is something I have come to after many years of giving in to judgement. Now I am much more at peace.

Try it and let me know if it works for you.

2009-06-05T12:45:00.000-07:00

This is the first post in what I hope will become a part of your Spiritual Journey. I am a Web Diva by profession and a writer by heart. For the last several years, I have been on a quest...a Spiritual Journey you might say. It has been a life-changing journey, and one that helped bring focus to a novel I had been working on for longer than I would like to say!

The title of the book, now published is The Last Good Man (see http://www.lastgoodman.net/). I am self published, and that experience in itself has generated enough material for a blog. But for me, it is more about sharing my take on this Journey called Life. I plan to continue to do this, here on my first blog. I leave you with one of my favorite quotes from my favorite guru, Dr. Wayne Dyer...

"You are not a human being having a spiritual experience...you are a spiritual being having a human expereince."

Peace...Patrice